I wouldn’t call myself a true music lover. I like to listen to music as much as the next person, but I have this tendency to get the lyrics wrong. Also, I know a lot of songs, but ask me what the title is or who sings and I will have no idea. I first thought I would write this post about all the song lyrics I get wrong, but that would take hours and hours. So instead I looked up the actual song lyrics and realized something. Song writers suck. There are some pretty creepy, terrible and ridiculous song lyrics out there. I wrote some down that I just had to share with you guys. I know there might be better ones out there, but these are the lyrics I found.
“Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I’ll be watching you.”
(The police – Every Breath You Take)
It starts really sweet and romantic, but this one gets out of hand pretty quickly. Stalker-Alert! If anyone ever says this to you, call the cops!
“He sees you when you’re sleeping, He knows when you’re awake.”
(Santa Claus is Coming to Town)
“I’m here, I’m not here.”
(Julia Stone – I’m Here, I’m Not Here)
How does that even work? Are you at two places at the same time? Are you playing hide and seek with a toddler? What’s going on? Do you have a split personality? I really don’t understand and it makes me feel uncomfortable.
“Don’t make a sound, Talk to me now.”
(David Guetta – Dangerous)
Again, how does this work? You should really have a talk with Julia Stone. You would be perfect together. Maybe you can understand each other, because I most certainly don’t.
“You’re the light, You’re the night.”
(Ellie Goulding – Love Me like You Do)
Do these people even know what they’re singing? And if they do, how?
“We don’t need no education.”
(Pink Floyd – Another Brick in the Wall)
I think you really do, because that’s a double negative! Burn!
“Give me your eyes so I can see.”
(Brandon Heath – Give Me Your Eyes)
I’d really rather not!
“Cry me a river.”
(Ella Fitzgerald – Cry Me a River)
Again, I’d rather not. I really think that would hurt. Also, I can’t swim!
“All about that bass.”
(Megan Trainor – All about That Bass)
So what if I don’t have a bass? I mean, I have a guitar and a keyboard, but I don’t have a bass. Now what?
“My Anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns, hun.”
(Nicki Minaj – Anaconda)
I have never heard of a snake that eats bread. I really haven’t. I don’t know what zoo Nicki came from, but I most certainly don’t know it.
“The heart wants what it wants.”
(Selena Gomez – Heart Wants What It Wants)
“Stairway to Heaven.”
(Led Zeppelin – Stairway to Heaven)
That sounds like a really good cardio exercise. Too bad most people that die are really old and probably don’t make it to the top of the stairs without having another heart attack.
“I swear to God I got 99 problems, but a b*tch ain’t one.”
(Drake ft. 2 Chainz & Big Sean – All Me)
Your manners are a huge problem, though. Have some respect. I also don’t understand what God has to do with this.
“Love is like an open door.”
(Kristen Bell – Love is like an Open Door)
Tutorial on how to open this door, check out How-to-Tuesday #2!
Have a nice Wednesday.