How-to-Tuesday #6

Everybody loves music. That’s the thing about music there are so many different types there’s something for everyone. Pop, R&B, Jazz, Classical, Rock, Dubstep (I could literally go on for hours).
There are hundreds of thousands of people who want to become musicians. It’s a hard business to get into. But I truly believe that everyone should have a change to make their dreams come true, so I did a little research and found this formula for writing song lyrics. It’s flawless.
This Tuesday how to write a song!

First of all, you need to find a fun word for butts. Maybe booty, badonkadonk (my personal favourite), junk in the trunk (this one already rhymes), tooshy (so cute)!
Use this word as often as possible.

Next, bring up your exes. The rougher the breakup the better! Tell us all the dirty and painful details, but don’t tell us who it’s really about. Keep us guessing!

B*tch! Yep, you guessed it. Use this word at least once. (I tried to think of the male equivalent, but douchebag just doesn’t have the same powerful ring to it.)

Throw your own name in there somewhere. It doesn’t matter when, just shout out your name at random. It has no extra meaning for the song, but who cares! People need to know who’s singing, right?!?

Do a bit in another language! It doesn’t even have to make sense, just use google translate! It makes you sound interesting and smart!

And last but not least, talk about sex in some symbolic way. Letting her dance around my pole, toasting her buns, bumby rides, testing the bed, dirtying up the sheets. Just make something up. Have fun with it.

This is all you need!

Have a nice Tuesday.

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