Face-off-Friday #6

Coffee vs.Tea

It seems like the world has two types of people, the coffee-addicts and the tea-drinkers. People aren’t allowed to drink both tea and coffee it seems. (The fact that I drink both tea and coffee is probably the reason I’m a bit crazy at times.) I usually have no authority whatsoever when I write these face-off-Fridays, but today I actually know what I’m talking about (I think). So today I thought I would try to figure out why we seem to think coffee and tea are so different.

Coffee: Cup Of Flavorful Fluid Everyone Enjoys
Coffee has a really bitter taste, but think about all the caffeine! People like to drink coffee to really wake up in the morning. I mean, it really helps with that morning sh*t. It truly is the best way to start your day. Just don’t forget that too much coffee will give you yellow teeth!
There are also a lot of different types of coffee. Cappuccino, Caffe latte, Frappuccino, Espresso, latte Macchiato. Just to name a few. And although they also serve tea at the Starbucks I think Starbucks should be a plus for coffee! (Don’t you just love it when they write your name wrong?!?) And people don’t go on tea dates, do they?
If coffee were a person, he would be that exhausted student trying to do everything at once, resulting in only three hours of sleep. That person that always knows better. There are only a few people that actually like him and they usually prefer him when they add a little cream on top.

Tea: Tastes Endlessly Awesome
Tea really has a lot of different flavors. They can make tea out of pretty much anything. You want bacon flavored tea, we’ve got it! There’s a type of tea for everyone. It’s great for when you’re sick and usually helps you fall asleep. (Maybe coffee and tea really are each other’s opposites?) Because there are so many different flavors, tea can pretty much solve all your problems. You want to sleep? Try some chamomile tea. Got the common cold? Try Echinacea tea. Drink green tea for some extra antioxidants. And get some black tea if you need caffeine, but don’t like coffee.
Tea is like Coffee’s relaxed friend. The one that takes yoga classes, knows the difference between different herbs and always looks healthy. They are never stressed and always look calm. It’s impossible to make a tea-drinker get angry.

I mean, why is it that every time I drink coffee I feel like I’m cheating, like I’m doing something wrong? And every time I drink tea I feel healthy, like my body is thanking me?
Maybe it’s just all in my head!

Have a nice Friday.


Face-off-Friday #5

Spoiler Alert: This post is going to be full of Grey’s Anatomy and Game of Thrones spoilers. You’ve been warned!

I know George R.R. Martin is known for his ruthless murders in GoT, but I’m going to show you that there is no crueler murderer than Shonda Rhimes. This face-off-Friday Shondaland vs. George R.R. Martin.
Let this kill off begin!

Robb stark from GoT: He made a promise so he could win the war and then broke it. That’s just plain stupid. He got shot with multiple arrows. Did he deserve it? One would think so.
Lexie Grey from GA: She died in a plane crash! Did she betray anyone? Did she make a promise she didn’t keep? I don’t think so!

Viserys Targaryen from GoT: He just was a real assh*le. He used his little sister to gain more power. He wanted a gold crown so he got one!
Mark Sloan from GA: He could be an assh*le at times, but at least he had a golden heart. He barely survived the plane crash, but then died in the hospital. He wanted to be with his one true love. She killed McSteamy. Shonda, why u be so cruel?

Joffrey Baratheon from GoT: Viserys was a cutie compared to Joffrey. When he was poisoned the entire GoT fandom celebrated!!!
Reed and Percy from GA: They were pretty boring characters, but they didn’t deserve to die the way they did. They got shot by a lunatic out for revenge. How is that fair? Tell me Shonda!

Ygritte from GoT: Died in battle. That’s what happens when you’re at war. People die. (Side note: I really liked Ygritte!!!)
George O’Malley from GA: Sweetest guy in the universe. He was a bit of a softy at times, but everyone loved him! He joined the army, but got hit by a bus trying to save someone else! He didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone loved George!!!

Eddard Stark from GoT: Beheaded because he betrayed his king. That’s what kings do to traitors! They cut off your head. Winter is coming? You should have seen that one coming Stark.
Derek Shepard from GA: He saved four lives after a car crash! He saved them. It was a good day to save lives!!! Then he gets hit by a truck on his way home. Idiots at some stupid hospital can’t even order a simple CT scan and he ends up braindead. Shonda killed McDreamy! Is she crazy? You don’t just kill Derek!

George R.R. Martin may kill a character every other episode, but Shonda killed Derek. He got hit by a truck! How is Grey’s Anatomy supposed to go on without MerDer?

Have a nice Friday. I don’t even care anymore.

Face-off-Friday #4

It’s one of the most epic battles on the internet, Apple vs. Windows. And since I usually write these face-off-Fridays about things I know nothing about, I thought this would be a good topic for this Friday. I use a windows computer, always have, and don’t even know where the on-button is on an Apple. My sister uses an Apple and loves it, but that’s all I know about Apple’s MacBook. So I did some research, because I do want to give you real information, and found some pros and cons for both Apple and Windows. After that, it’s up to you to decide which one is better. Here goes.

Apple has always been a fruitful company. They have great roots and Steve Jobs has really turned this company into a household name. On the other hand, Windows have been around a long time. The first Windows were invented in the year 100 AD. Bill Gates really knew what he was doing!
The thing is, I love Windows, but it can be so transparent. I can look right through it. And I feel like Apple always leaves you with a false sense of accomplishment.
But then, for Windows the glass is always full, which is a good thing. But for Apple, people always buy the newest Apple products the moment they hit the stores. I mean, people really like to tre(e)at themselves.
Windows gets dirty pretty easily, birds really like to sh*t all over your Windows, and need to be cleaned regularly. They do have a really solid frame, though. As for Apple, as soon as you start to use them, they tend to start rotting and you will have to buy a new one. But they do look really appetizing when you take them out of the box.
While Windows break easily and cracks are very common. Apple products get bruised once you drop them.
Windows always seems so high up, while Apple just seems to be hanging around.
Apple is always the healthy choice (although Eve would disagree. If you don’t get this joke, read a Bible!). But Windows are really easy to open up. It’s really a breeze and very refreshing.
Windows really lets the light through, while Apple’s products are always ready for harvest.
And everyone knows Apple’s Intel Core is always up to date! But then again, Windows has some pretty amazing HD-options. It’s like I’m looking through glass into the real world.
And if you’re wondering why Apple products look so similar (I can’t tell the difference between the iPhone 4 and iPhone 5), it’s because the apple never falls far from the tree! You get it? Yeah, you do. Sometimes, I really think I’m too funny.

So what will it be? Windows or Apple?

Have a nice Friday.

Ps. You want a fun challenge? Try to find all the puns and jokes in this post!

Face-off-Friday #3

This Face-off-Friday we’re going to have some fun. Today the battle will be between Dutch sayings and English sayings. I think that the Dutch have the best sayings / proverbs ever. I love Dutch sayings, but it gets really funny when you translate them to English. The thing is, our sayings don’t make sense in Dutch, so when you translate them into another language they get even less meaningful. Only Joost may know what they mean. We just choose these random words, throw them together and give them some deeper meaning. The only reason I’m writing this post is because I want you to see how ridiculous our sayings are. It will be a battle between Dutch sayings and English sayings, but it really doesn’t matter who wins. It will be a sausage to me. (Meaning: You don’t care.) It’s just too funny to read the translated Dutch sayings. So here we go. There is work at the shop, which means we have work to do.

Of course some of the sayings have their English equivalent, so let’s start with these. We will take it slow, one step at a time. Because I can promise you, the sayings at the end of this post will be weird, crazy, ridiculous, nonsensical, silly, absurd. You get the idea.
From the ground of my heart. You can pretty much guess this one. From the bottom of my heart.
Scatter salt in your wound. The English equivalent I immediately thought of was rub some dirt on it, but these sayings have the exact opposite meaning. Scattering salt in your wound means you’re making your injury even worse, while rubbing some dirt on it means you should stop complaining.
Better late than never 2x. Who would have thought we have the same sayings? I didn’t.
Looking a given horse in the mouth. Never look a gift horse in the mouth.
Practice births art. Practice makes perfect.
Delicious is only as long as a finger. All good things must come to an end.
Okay, I’m even boring myself with these. Just remember good things come to those who wait!

Let’s go to some of the weird Dutch sayings that actually have a deep and important meaning. Since the English have these really amazing and eloquent sayings that actually mean something. I will show you the difference between a meaningful Dutch saying and a MEANINGFUL English saying.
Where the dykes are lowest, the water will overflow first. (Meaning: The poor are always the ones who suffer most.) Beautiful meaning, but dykes? Let’s look at an English saying. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Short, but powerful.
Two hands on one belly.(Meaning: when two people are so much alike they seem like one person.) Now a meaningful English saying. You can’t judge a book by its cover. (Meaning: You’re not supposed to judge people by the way they look.) Just think about it, a saying with the word belly in it or a saying with the word book. What sounds more eloquent and meaningful?
Still not convinced let’s go on to the next one. The monkey comes out of the sleeve. (Meaning: The truth is finally discovered.) Just to make sure you saw, we use monkeys in our sayings. MONKEYS!
Do I even need to show you another English saying? YES! Okay, no problem. Two wrongs don’t make a right.(Meaning: Don’t get back to someone who did you wrong, by doing something wrong yourself.)
Just one more!
Putting the dots on the i. (Meaning: Making sure everything is just perfect, after you finished some project you were working on.) I personally like this saying a lot. But then you read: Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. And I immediately think my i’s need some extra special dot just to impress this English saying.

I did promise I would save the best for last. I hope you’re ready. I’m just going to fall with the door into the house. (Meaning: getting straight to the point.) Like a chicken without its head. (Meaning: Like a reckless idiot.) No, really all craziness on a stick. (Meaning: Let’s be serious.)
Make that the cat wise. (Meaning: When you know someone is lying, you say this to show that you know they’re being an idiot.)
He has a loose stitch. (Meaning: He’s a bit weird, a little crazy.)
Wetfingerwork. (Meaning: You’re just guessing.)
You have to learn on an old bike. (Meaning: This one has two meanings. It used to mean that schoolbooks and those type of things are always secondhand. But the Dutch, being who we are, gave this saying a little twist. Now it usually means you should lose your virginity to someone who has “experience”.) You should learn on an old bike! Great life advise.
Shit on your marble. (Meaning: You’re in big trouble.) A personal favorite.
Playing for bacon and beans. (Meaning: Usually when you have a little brother who wants to play along, he plays for bacon and beans. You don’t play for points so when you lose it doesn’t matter.)
Oh, on that bike. (Meaning: When you don’t get what someone’s talking about and you finally get it.)
Unfortunately, peanut butter. (Meaning: Too bad you lost, but at least you tried.)
And last but not least, for my mother, because she uses this saying a lot. Take it easy, then the line won’t break. (Meaning: Relax, don’t worry and you will be fine.)

Have a nice Firday.

For the people who want to know, all the Dutch translations:
Joost may know (Dutch: Joost mag het weten)
It will be a sausage to me (Dutch: Het zal me een worst wezen)
There is work at the shop (Dutch: Er is werk aan de winkel)
From the ground of my heart (Dutch: Uit de grond van mijn hart)
Scatter salt in your wound (Dutch: Zout in je wond strooien)
Better late than never (Dutch: Beter laat dan nooit)
Looking a given horse in the mouth (Dutch: Een gegeven paard in de bek kijken)
Practice births art (Dutch: Oefening baart kunst)
Delicious is only as long as a finger (Dutch: Lekker is slechts een vinger lang)
Where the dykes are lowest, the water will overflow first (Dutch: Waar de dijk het laagst is, loopt het eerst het water over).
Two hands on one belly (Dutch: Twee handen op een buik)
The monkey comes out of the sleeve (Dutch: De aap komt uit de mouw)
Putting the dots on the i (Dutch: De puntjes op de i zetten)
I’m just going to fall with the door into the house (Dutch: Met de deur in huis vallen)
Like a chicken without its head (Dutch: Als een kip zonder kop)
All craziness on a stick (Dutch: Alle gekheid op een stokje)
Make that the cat wise (Dutch: Maak dat de kat wijs)
He has a loose stitch (Dutch: er zit bij hem een steekje los)
Wetfingerwork (Dutch: Nattevingerwerk)
You have to learn on an old bike (Dutch: Op een oude fiets moet je het leren)
Shit on your marble (Dutch: Stront aan de knikker)
Playing for bacon and beans (Dutch: Voor spek en bonen meedoen)
Oh, on that bike (Dutch: Oh, op die fiets)
Unfortunately, peanut butter (Dutch: Helaas, pindakaas)
Take it easy, then the line won’t break (Dutch: Rustig aan, dan breekt het lijntje niet)

Face-off-Friday #2

This Face-off-Friday we will fight the battle of all battles. Short people problems vs. tall people problems. Being 6’1 I have probably heard it all, but today we will see who has it worse.

Let’s start with the classics, the things every short or tall person has at least heard once in their life.
‘Hey stretch, how is the weather up there?” – A bit cold, just like your heart!
‘Where did shorty go?’ – I’m right here!
‘Hey stretch, can you reach the thing on the top shelve?’ – Yes, but that doesn’t mean I want to.
‘Hey shorty, I just dropped my thing, can you get it? You’re closer to the ground.” – You dropped it, you get it!
‘Do you play basketball?’ – Do you?
‘You look like a hobbit.’ – That… Just… In no way is that a compliment!
‘You’re not twenty years old, you look way older. Show me your ID.’ – I’m not showing you my ID.
‘You’re not twenty years old, you look twelve. Show me your ID.’ – Not again!

These next two classics are what short and tall people have to endure during family gatherings, every single time.
‘Will you ever stop growing?’ – That’s not something I would know now would I?
‘When will you have your growth spurt?’ – Probably never, but one can keep dreaming.

The next category is all about clothes. As someone who hates shopping in general, I truly believe that these problems are the worst.
Finally finding the jeans you have been looking for, but the store not having them in your size VS. Having to shop in the kids’ section.
Dresses being shirts VS. Shirts being dresses.
Rolling up your sleeves so no one can see they’re too short VS. Rolling up your sleeves so no one can see they’re too long. (Same with jeans!)
Not being able to wear heels VS. Always having to wear heels (and still being the shortest).
You get the point!

Next I have some general problems we all have to suffer through.
Every time you’re out with friends and you split up. They use you as the meeting place, because they can spot you from miles away VS. People can never seem to find you, even when you’re walking right beside them.
Giant jokes VS. Oompa Loompa jokes.
Mirrors hanging too low VS. Mirrors hanging too high.
Always having to slow down VS. Always having to run to keep up.
Walking into tables, which means bruised legs VS. Having to climb counters to reach the things.
Growing Pains! VS. People hitting you in the head with their elbows.
Never having enough leg space in cars, planes, etc. VS. Sitting down and your feet not touching the ground.
Neck pains from looking down VS. Calve pains from always tiptoeing around.
Always having to stand / sit in the back VS. Claustrophobia from being in large groups.
Everyone thinks you’re intimidating VS. Everyone thinks you’re cute.
And worst of all. People asking your height!

I can honestly say that being short has as many disadvantages as being tall. The thing is there are also a lot of advantages to both situations. So it all depends on the fact whether you’re an optimist or a pessimist. It’s the whole glass half full or half empty dilemma.

Have a nice Friday.

Face-off-Friday #1

Cats vs. Dogs

As someone who doesn’t own a pet and who has no desire to, I thought I would be the perfect person to solve this problem. I do have to admit beforehand that I am a dog person. I do promise that this will in no way influence this Face-off-Friday. (Yeah right!) I have never owned a pet before, so I have no idea what I’m talking about. But, really, who cares? This blog doesn’t make sense anyway.

Let’s start with cats. There are two types of cats. You have the independent adventurer and the attention seeker. When it comes to taking care of the independent adventurer, things are pretty simple. Just make sure you feed them. That’s pretty much it. They spend most their time outside, which is perfect if you don’t want to be surrounded by your pet all the time, I guess. I mean, then why did you get a pet in the first place? But okay.
They are pretty much the teenagers of cats. They spend most there time getting into trouble, but always come back home with their tails between their legs. They eat anything they can get their paws on and at the end of the day throw it all up again. (Which is your cue to clean it all up.) These are also the type of cats that will ignore you if you do something wrong. They are geniuses at the silent treatment. Give them love and they will become your best friend, but be too much of a control freak and they will hate you for it.
Then there is the attention seeker. These are the indoor cats. (Do you call it that?) It’s just cats that don’t go outside. Taking care of an attention seeker is a lot of work. They don’t just want you to feed them. No! They will follow you around, everywhere you go.
They are the toddlers of cats. They still need you to take care of them. They cry a lot if you don’t pay them enough attention. They also tend to sit on the things you’re using. Are you working on your computer? That’s too bad. I really, really, want to sit on your keyboard. Are you on the toilet? Well, that’s unfortunate, because I really want to sit in your trousers. Try pulling them up then! Are you sleeping? That’s so sad, because I really want you to pet me. So, I’m just going to keep licking your face until you do.
The attention seekers will take up a lot of your time, but they do keep you warm. Give them enough attention and they will never leave you, but neglect them and they will get vengeance.

On to the dogs, men’s best friend. Dogs have two types as well. You have the loyal giant and the yapping mouse. Let’s start with the loyal giant. For me, the loyal giants are the bigger sized dogs that love to learn. They are the overachievers. They want nothing more than to learn and to play. The thing with these dogs is that they really don’t realize exactly how strong they are. They can seriously hurt you if you don’t train them right.
These dogs want to learn and will always be there for you. They do forgive a lot and expect only little in return, but if you have gone too far. It will be hard to win back their trust. They will always be waiting for you at the door when you come back home. Just don’t forget that these dogs take up a lot of space and need to go outside as often as possible. (Again, what do I know, right?) Teach them new tricks and they will always have your back, forget about them and they will never trust you again.
Then we have the yapping mouse. Or as I like to call them the watch-out-you-don’t-step-on-them terriers. They are the small dogs that just seem to keep barking, no matter what. They are loud, but also really funny. They never sit still and are pretty much always happy. They can literally run around the room all day until they’re tired, take a quick nap, and start all over again. They don’t need much to be happy. They’re pretty content as it is.
Just make sure you don’t lose them! They are so tiny they can get in pretty much any crawling space they can find. As for the yapping, just keep in mind you love this little rascal. And if you don’t, just get rid of it! (Just kidding people!)
Let them run around and they will always keep you entertained, but try to slow them down and they will become your worst nightmare.

I once saw this post on the internet, and I think it perfectly describes this Face-off-Friday.
Cats: People feed me. I must be a God!
Dogs: People feed me. They must be gods!

Have a nice Friday.