New Phone, Who Dis?

WhatsappWednesday #1

This week: If my body could text.

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Or maybe something like this:

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Just having some fun.

Have a nice Wednesday!

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You’ve Got Mail!

MailMonday #3

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Dear delivery person,

Do you really have to force my packages through our letterbox? Is ringing the doorbell really that difficult? Just because the packaging is ten times bigger than the actual item inside, doesn’t mean you can just fold the packaging and keep pushing and shoving it until it fits through the very small opening. I paid money for those items and you get paid to deliver them undamaged and in one piece. And seriously, that doorbell is there for a reason and not just to mislead the Jehovah’s witnesses.

Sincerely,
Charlotte

Have a nice Monday!

A Look Inside My Brain

ThankfulThursday #10

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Every once in a while I like to write a post about something that I am grateful for. Granted, the last time I wrote this kind of post was on February 2nd, but we can just pretend like that doesn’t matter. I mean, I’ve been busy people…

Yeah, right Charlotte. You’ve been busy? With what? Sleeping?

Thank you voice in my head that pretends to be my readers. I love you too.

To be fair, though, sleeping does take a lot of time.

However, let’s get back to writing this post.

This Thursday I am thankful for my family. Just kidding, this isn’t going to be one of those deep and sad posts. Although, family if you are reading this. I love you!

This Thursday I really wanted to take some time to thank my brain for always coming up with these crazy scenarios, always turning everything into a story and making the most dull of moments so much more fun.

You do know that hearing voices is not normal right?

Who cares?

I mean, the other day I was preparing dinner. (My mom is on vacation with my grandma which means I’m the house-elf for the week. Just one more day and Dobby is a free elf!) However, as I was preparing dinner I was having these crazy conversations with the food. I was complaining to the timer to stop being so loud! And then proceeded to tell the potatoes not to be so aggressive when the water boiled out of the pan. I asked the sausages that were spitting oil at me why they had to be so hot. And wondered why the knife I threw towards the sink just had to fall on the floor. It was a crazy time!

The truth is, I hate cooking. It’s stressful and never works out the way I want it to. My brain just helps make it more fun and in this world where everything always seems to go wrong, we can all use some positivity.

Hey, look at that. This is a deep post.

Have a nice Thursday.

Ps. I did make some amazing French toast yesterday!

Scotland

WordWednesday #16

Are you ready? Let’s do this. Here’s how it works: No plan. No ideas. Just words!

When clouds swallow mountains
And water hits against rock
The land will turn green

When mountains touch the sun
And rocks turn into castles
The sky will turn blue

And from these dancing colours
Scotland is born

Have a nice Wednesday!

The 10 Stages Every Book-Lover Goes Through Before Starting a New Book

10-Things-Tuesday #18

  1. The I-have-nothing-to-read stage

This is where it all begins. Your TBR (to be read) pile has taken over your room, but none of the books on the pile feel right. You’re still dealing with the emotional rollercoaster from the last book you read and you need to find that one perfect soulmate book that will make you feel better.

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  1. The let’s-create-a-reading-list stage

After going through your TBR pile a hundred times you finally realise it’s not going to work. So instead you decide to make a reading list. And not just any reading list. Your list will look like a piece of art with the perfect handwriting and decorations. You just know that if you have all your books organised the right book will just magically come to you.

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  1. The let’s-order-my-bookcase-by-colour stage

After you finish the list and you still haven’t found that soulmate book you are looking for, you focus your energy on the books you have read and start rearranging your bookcase.

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  1. The I-need-more-books stage

After your bookcase looks like a colourful rainbow you admit to yourself that maybe you just haven’t bought that soulmate book yet and you just need to buy some new books.

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  1. The I-need-to-update-my-list stage

This, however, also means you have to update your amazing reading list.

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  1. The maybe-if-I-hold-the-book-I-will-want-to-read-it stage

Now you have ten more books and still nothing to read. You just know that your soulmate book is out there and maybe holding all your TBR books one by one will send you some divine message.

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  1. The let’s-order-my-bookcase-alphabetically stage

Again, you give up and go back to your bookcase. The rainbow just doesn’t feel like you.

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  1. The I-have-too-many-books stage

This is when desperation sets in and you realise you just have too many books to choose from. You end up crying on the floor desperately holding onto your TBR pile.

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  1. The I-hate-reading stage

Eventually, you decide you hate reading and will never touch another book ever again. They betrayed you!

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  1. The let’s-just-read-Harry-Potter-again stage

Days later you walk past your bookcase and see the cover of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s stone staring back at you. Without thinking you grab it from the shelf and disappear into the magical world of Harry Potter.

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Have a nice 10-Things-Tuesday!

Dreaming

FictionFriday #22

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I once dreamed of flying
Up in the sky
The wind beneath my wings
Seeing the world from above
Like a bird
Without care or worry

I once dreamed of diving
Down in the sea
Water floating all around me
Seeing the world through waves
Like a fish
Without care or worry

I once dreamed of crawling
Inside the earth
Dirt surrounding me
Seeing the world from its depths
Like a worm
Without care or worry

When I awake from my dreams
I feel the wind
I drink the sea
and I walk the earth
Like a man
Worrying about what the meaning of life is
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I hope you liked this poem.

Have a nice Friday!

One thing led to another…

SpecialSaturday #5

At dinner, I was telling my brother about this bit in a stand-up show by Brian Regan that is one of my favourites. It’s this bit about writers using the phrase ‘and one thing led to another’. Brian is saying how that phrase is just lazy writing. It is the writer’s job to tell the reader how this led to that.
He gives a genius example:
Adolf Hitler was rejected as a young man in his application to art school
one thing led to another…
and the United states dropped two atomic bombs on the sovereign nation of Japan.

You can see the clip here:

My brother being the genius that he is came up with his own example:
Harry woke up in the closet under the stairs
one thing led to another…
and Harry killed Voldemort.

So I decided to come up with some examples myself.

God created the heaven and the earth
one thing led to another…
and Jesus died.

Bill Clinton did have sexual relations with that woman
one thing led to another…
and Trump became president.

Bilbo went on an adventure
one thing led to another…
and Frodo destroyed the ring.

Once upon a time there was a princess
one thing led to another…
and they lived happily ever after.

Gutenberg discovered the printing press
one thing led to another…
and fifty shades of grey was published.

A monkey walked on two legs
one thing led to another…
and I am writing this post on my computer.

I hope you enjoyed this post. If you come up with some ‘one thing led to another’ examples write them in the comments.

Have a nice Saturday.